Inspiring Workplaces: How Humor Can Help Defuse a Conflict

Published: Wed, 06/15/16

View on mobile device or browser
Humor at Work ISSUE 635 - June 15, 2016
header splash
   
      How Humor Can Help Defuse a Conflict
   
  Research shows that when people in a conflict situation laugh and find the humor in a situation, they are likely to shift from convergent thinking (believing there is only one possible solution) to divergent thinking (seeing other possibilities and ideas that might solve the conflict). Here are a few tips on how to use humor in a conflict situation to defuse the tension:
  • Make sure you are practicing good listening skills. Show that you understand where the other person is coming from before trying to inject any humor.
  • Stay away from sarcastic humor or humor targeted at the other person, which will of course only make things worse! You want to use humor gently while still demonstrating you are taking the issue and their concerns seriously.
  • Assess whether the situation warrants any use of humor. Given the context, nature of the conflict, and nature of your relationship with the person, you might choose to avoid any use of humor or, at the other extreme, you might don a "bonehead" hat or pair of Groucho Marx glasses to lower the temperature. 
  • Look for openings to inject some self-deprecating humor, such as, "You know, I'll admit I might be wrong about this, according to my teenage children that's pretty much my standard operating mode."
  • Look for ways to humorously reframe the problem, to remind both you and the other person that it could be worse. "I think we should remember that it could be a lot worse. We could be having this debate on the Titanic" or "You know, some people would love to have this be there most important issue to fight over. In fact, we could probably sell this fight on Craigslist" or "Just think - we're fighting over who gets this parking stall while a gazillion people around the globe would just like to have a car to be able to park in the first place!"
  • Look for ways to inject some humor around how you might solve the conflict: "I wonder if we should bring Judge Judy in on this one?" or "Why don't we just thumb wrestle over this - best out of 3 matches wins?" 
  • Remind the other party that it's important for both of you to keep your sense of humor and that you just want the best possible outcome, stay focused on the issue so you don't make it personal, and be open to the possibility that the other person might be right. Use humor to stay humble and human.   
What about you? What have you done successfully to defuse an argument using a little humor?
rule1
    Mike's Fun at Work Tip
 
The Banff/Lake Louise Housing Olympics were held a few weeks ago in my neck of the woods, where sixteen teams competed in five events: mop racing, bed-making competition, upright vacuum relay, towel-folding and towel art competition, and buffer pad toss. Over in Hungary, the best gravediggers recently vied to advance to the regional grave digging championships in Slovakia, where pairs of grave diggers are judged on speed and style (as measured by the looks of the finished grave mounds). At Argus Industries in Winnipeg, Manitoba, the front office employees compete against the back office employees in their annual X Games competition, highlighting various work-related skills and in the process helping employees learn how challenging each others jobs are.

So get creative and figure out how you can create a special contest or games event to honor your profession or employees' unique talents that may sometimes get overlooked. Challenge nearby businesses and turn it into a charity event or have teams in your own organization compete against one another in offbeat contests for fun prizes.
rule1
    Quote of the Week
 

"When you listen to someone, it's the most profound act of human respect."  William Ury
rule1
    It's a Wacky World
 
Vasile Cepoi was elected mayor of a town in Romania last week, beating out Vasile Cepoi by 1,100 votes and Vasile Cepoi by 1190 votes. The winning candidate included his middle name on the ballot, which is evidently quite helpful if you live in a town where several people named Vasile Cepoi are running for mayor.
rule1
 
More Reading
Whether it's a jerky boss, jerky coworker or jerky customer, a few good ideas about How to Deal with Jerks at Work






Cost-Savings to Bring Mike in to Speak
Okanagan: "I need to see Mom" special rate on-going!
Toronto:
Oct. 21-24
Ottawa: Nov. 7
Vancouver: Dec.1-2






Humor at Work YouTube Channel
Mike reports in from Turks and Caicos, asking the question: What Rule Can You Break to Provide Inspiring Customer Service?
 
    Follow Humor at Work
pic8 twitterlinkedintwitter
 
Copyright © 2016 Humor at Work. All Rights Reserved.
mike@mikekerr.com